It would cost us, a family of five, more than $500 just to get in LEGOLAND California. With $500 I could buy enough LEGO bricks to build a house that we could actually live in. With $500 I could buy the kids one-way tickets to the LEGO factory in Denmark, where they could play until I saved another $500 to bring ’em home.
I’m not saying we’ll never go to LEGOLAND. But I’m not spending that kind of money until they’re each old enough to remember the trip. And from my experience, kids don’t have much of a long-term memory until they’re over five (or get their first whoopin’).
But last weekend we at least did get close to LEGOLAND. The five of us spent a night at the Sheraton Carlsbad Resort & Spa, a four-star hotel that has a private entrance to the theme park. A night’s stay was $63 via Hotwire (including a $25 coupon). The Sheraton also charged a resort fee of $17 and a parking fee of $12, the latter of which sounded like something that should have been covered in the resort fee.
Regardless, it was a damn good deal. And the kids proved there’s a lot to do at the hotel, even if your dad’s too cheap to get LEGOLAND tickets. For example, you can…
Find a beetle near the hotel room balcony and break its leg.
Grab breakfast from the nearby 7-Eleven and eat it on a “towel table.”
Hide in the drawer because you’re short and compact and don’t wanna be bothered.
Read the good book (in the way he learned from Pastor Darrell Scott).
Wear the excessive rain gear Mama bought from Amazon Prime before I could say, “You bought what?”
Play under the blankets until Mama burns your eyes with a camera flash.
Stare at the clouds and wait for the much overhyped “storm of the decade” to hit.
Look for coyotes in “Coyote Canyon,” both of which turned out to be a figment of Dad’s imagination.
Shoot the cover art for your upcoming mixtape titled, “Dem Damn Lightskins (Always Wearin’ Stripes).”
Walk the grounds proudly because you paid $63 for your room when most other guests paid at least double.
-Dewan Gibson