Raekwon The Chef Will Review Your Mixtape, If You Give Him $200


Raekwon wants to raise money for "The Purple Tape Files," a documentary on "Only Built 4 Cuban Linx," the classic album that various hipsters 'round these parts enthusiastically cite as their favorite Wu-Tang piece, though much less so after you ask them to name their favorite track.

To do so, Rae's crowdfunding: If you give $1,000, you can go to all of his concerts for the next five years, which usually only cost about $20, but still...If you give $500, Raekwon will bring you on stage and allow you to stand awkwardly with his crew and screen girls for the "afterparty" on the tour bus. You might even get to bring him water, and if he doesn't drink it all, you'll get to throw it on the crowd! And for just $200, he'll listen to a song from your struggle mixtape. If he likes it, you might get an invite to the studio. Check out the other funding levels on FanBack. "Pay me homage, son."

-Dewan Gibson

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Roy Jones Jr. Continues Comeback By Beating Up Chitlin Circuit Boxers


Roy Jones Jr. fought for the second time this month on Saturday, beating up a skinny-fat Jason Kidd lookalike who was 10-6-1 coming into the fight. I hate to see an all-time great like Roy fighting at 46-years-old, but if this keeps him from rapping I'm all for it. You can see cell phone footage of the fights below. It's not exactly HBO.

-Dewan Gibson

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Bill Cosby Tried His Infamous ‘Come To My Hotel Room’ Trick On Chelsea Handler


I received Esquire's special ass-and-back-hair issue in the mail yesterday and rushed through tens of pictures of squinty-eyed Zoolanders to read Chelsea Handler and Nick Offerman's interview with Scott Raab (a fellow Cleveland native and hater-author of the anti-LeBron book, "The Whore of Cleveland"). The three discuss self-taught pharmacist Bill Cosby. Apparently The Cos tried to get on with 50 Cent's ex in a Rick Ross sort of way. From Esquire:

Oh, I was in Atlantic City playing, doing stand-up, and he was doing stand-up in Atlantic City in the same hotel, and at like three o'clock in the afternoon, someone from the hotel came down and said, "Oh, you know, Mr. Cosby would really like to meet you up in his hotel suite." And I thought, That's really weird. This was like ten years ago. And I said, That's really weird. I don't want to go alone. I go, I don't know him. So the three guys I was with—thank God these guys were with me. One was filming and one was like a producer; we were filming something—I brought them up with me to his room and thank God I did, because now I know what would've happened if I went up there alone. And I forgot about it when all the stories about Bill Cosby came out. I was like, I didn't even think of it. Then my friend texted me the other day saying, "Do you remember that night we went up to, or that afternoon we went up to Bill Cosby's and you were so freaked out you made us come with you?" And I said, Yeah, and he said, "Hello! You could've been one of his victims if we weren't there." And I went, "Oh my gosh …" Yeah, so yeah, he's guilty.

-Dewan Gibson

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Female Politician Goes Without Clothes To Win Votes


According to some of the Tea Party folks in my (new) family, President Obama takes similar pictures, but only his former "body man" Reggie Love gets to see them. From The Local (Spain):

Yolanda Couceiro Morín, a town hall candidate for right-wing party Party for Freedom - Clean Hands (Partido por la Libertad - Manos Limpias) appears on the campaign poster partially naked, her modesty covered by the slogan 'politicians have left us stark naked'.

Morín called the campaign "eye-catching" and said she hoped it got into the consciousness of the people of Portugalete and helped make them "focus on the problems of their neighbours", reported Spanish daily, 20 minutos.

-Dewan Gibson

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The Week With Action Bronson, Who Has Been All Over My Internet


I'm eight songs deep into Action's first major label album. I'd be all the way through it, but the kids are around and the songs put them way over their daily suggested f-word allotment. So far, it's entertaining, not great, but enjoyable--much like these YouTube cooking and traveling videos he puts out.

On a related note, these "fights" have become a thing at Bronson's shows. I guess it's his weird way of showing love to the people, and vice-versa. Sort of like how Lil' B fans offer their girlfriends and wives to his harem. Action's in San Diego in about two weeks. If you see a skinny, Sugar Ray Leonard/Bruce Leroy-looking brotha get thrown off stage, pray for my well-being. (Byron Crawford)

-Dewan Gibson

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Utah Goes Retro With Cruel & Unusual Punishment, Brings Back Firing Squad

Firing Squad

Execution drugs are hard to come by in the U.S. these days. The only domestic company to produce them, Hospira, stopped after death penalty opponents put pressure on that ass. The result: States like Utah are going old school when it comes to government-sanctioned murder. I'm thinking drones or other robots will be handling their dirty work in the very near future. From The Guardian:

Faced with a nationwide scarcity of execution drugs, Utah’s governor on Monday signed into law a bill that resurrects the use firing squads as an alternative method of executing condemned inmates.

The law allows Utah to use a firing squad only if the lethal injection drugs are unavailable 30 days before an execution is scheduled to take place...

With lethal injections in short supply around the country, Utah is one of a handful of states returning to execution practices once abandoned for their gruesome nature.

This year, lawmakers in Arkansas are considering a proposal to allow the firing squad, and in Oklahoma, a lawmaker there proposed a bill that would allow nitrogen case as an alternative to lethal injections. Other states have debated bringing back the electric chair.

-Dewan Gibson

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Which Former USC & NFL Running Back Is Looking For Chicks On Craigslist?


I spotted this ad on Craigslist while searching for the increasingly necessary but always evil job outside of home. Apparently, a former USC and NFL running back is returning to San Diego and wants to hookup with chicks via a well-written, sort of wink-wink Craigslist ad: "I'm looking for a chill/fun woman to party with all day and/or all night. Drinks, lunch, dinner, lounge, club...whatever."

My first thought "that damn Reggie Bush!" But there's no way. I've lived in San Diego since he was at USC and when I was dating, like, every third girl I'd meet had had sex with him. Plus, you don't go from Kim Kardashian to Craigslist.

Then I figured it might be Lendale White. He played at USC, is close to 30 or so, and spent about five years in the NFL. So I replied to the ad with the following: "Lendale? Is this you, man? You posted under the wrong section of Craigslist (customer service), when you should be under Casual Encounters or something. Best of luck, though. If all else fails go to Tijuana!" No response.

After sending the reply, I did a bit of research on Pro Football Reference. Based on a list of former USC running backs who played in the NFL and are over 30, the ladies' man could also be Chad Morton. But he's 37 and played seven years in the NFL, not five. And he was more of a kick returner than a running back, though running back was his official position...

And then I got tired and said the hell with it. I need to mind my own business, and find a new gig. Good luck next weekend, unknown former USC and NFL running back!

-Dewan Gibson

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