Kill Nine Black People, Get Free Burger King

Fast food, killing black folks, special treatment from police--there's something inherently American about all of this. From TPM:

Police in Shelby, North Carolina bought a Burger King meal for the white man who allegedly killed nine people at a historic black church in Charleston, South Carolina after they arrested him Thursday, The Charlotte Observer reported.

Shelby Police Chief Jeff Ledford told the newspaper that the only conversation his officers had with 21-year-old Dylann Roof was about food. The alleged gunman told them that he was hungry after eating nothing but some chips he'd bought at a Charlotte gas station before he was arrested in a traffic stop...

“He did have something to eat while he was there, and he was secured in cuffs the entire time,” he told the news site.

-Dewan Gibson

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NFL Player Channels Pootie Tang, Whoops Multiple Asses On Beach

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Almost all of my fighting experience is through video games, but this looks like self-defense. Well, until the end, when cronies of Saints' player Junior Galette run back to fight and start choking and haymaking people out without regard to gender. But like my dad told me: "If people jumping on yo' ass, you better take off your belt and start swinging...but hit they ass with the buckle." The buckle, Junior! The buckle! Happy Father's Day.

-Dewan Gibson

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CNN Wonders If Charleston Shooter Was Just Wearing A White Disguise

cnn

"Yeah, maybe the shooter was actually a black guy in whiteface. Eddie Murphy pulled that off on Saturday Night Live. Wait...maybe Eddie Murphy was the shooter, haven't heard much from him in awhile. I wonder if he got weapons training while filming Beverly Hills Cop?"

As for Fox News, they focused on the faith aspect of the terrorist attack, never mind that it was a black church of historical importance and reports had already been issued stating that the shooter said this to a survivor: "I have to do it. You rape our women, and you've taken over our country..and you have to go."

-Dewan Gibson

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World Champion Kickboxer Decides He’d Rather Just Kick Ass For ISIS

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Damn, Chuck Norris may be our only hope for defeating ISIS. Or maybe the Great Wesley Snipes, though I think he's about had it with the U.S. From The Local-Germany:

Former world champion kick-boxer Valdet Gashi has joined Isis in Syria. In a short interview with the Südkurier he explained his motivations. The 28-year-old Gashi from Bavaria told the Südkurier that he had traveled to Syria to “help and to look for answers.”

He explained that he was patrolling the Euphrates River in an area between Membis and Jarablus near the Turkish border. “At moment I am guarding the Euphrates,” he wrote. “We are looking for smugglers who bring illegal goods here like cigarettes, alcohol or drugs, which are completely forbidden.”

He has not yet been involved in gun battles, he claimed, although he carries a weapon as part of his job. “By the grace of God I have not yet had to use my weapon,” he said. But he had seen an execution, he admitted.

-Dewan Gibson

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