Mother Yokes The Riot Out of Her Son

riot.mom

Hell, she may have a future in law enforcement. At least until law enforcement comes after her for child abuse. My take on the events in Baltimore: There are legitimate reasons for protest. Baltimore police are more out of control than a jilted harlot on the reunion episode of a VH1 reality show, which is why they've had to shell out millions in excessive force lawsuits. And there are also bad apples among the protesters, the type of people who would tear shit up regardless of Freddie Gray's murder. Anyway, I'm sure things will calm down in the next day or two and our country will be right back on its socially apathetic path.

-Dewan Gibson

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Just Trying To Keep The Children Fed

larke

My youngest boy Larke (note:spelled with a masculine "e" at the end) has gone from teat grabber to bottle holder. By the way, remember that breakfast-dinner your parents used to make when you didn't have shit else to eat? That wasn't anything but a second serving of WIC.

-Dewan Gibson

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Chris Rock’s Six Minute Bit About Why Blacks Don’t Like Baseball

rock.baseball

Man, Chris is right. Baseball's dead in the black community. You'd think brothas would like a sport that encourages you to grab your nutsack and wear shades. I know MLB outreaches to us, and just a few years ago one of its best players (Pedro Martinez) had a Jheri curl, but it's still only popular among island brothas who got off the boat a little earlier than we did.

-Dewan Gibson

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I Went To See My Play Cousins Bone Thugs In Concert Last Night

bone

I missed most of the show, thanks to my kids, who became unruly and violent when we tried to put them to bed. When I got there Bone must have also been tired, because they were lip-synching. Still, they did have enough energy to invite women on stage to perform various types of strumpet mating dances. Unfortunately for the dancers most of Bone walked off, leaving them to grind on Uncle Boo, Lil' Chanucey, and various other hanger-ons. Anyway, that newish "More Than Thugs" song is catchy! And not just because they performed it twice.

-Dewan Gibson

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