Anyone Know This Old Dude Who Walked Past & Told Me “Nice Ass”?

hillcrest2 - Edited

Hillcrest is a neighborhood in San Diego where men with great posture and the mannerisms of Senator Lindsey Graham live, congregate, and loudly accuse each other of having "resting bitch face." After a couple hours spent maintaining my position as one of my city's top-rated Uber drivers, and likely the only one to offer riders free soft mints, I went there to meet my wife, Amber, for dinner.

As I stood on the corner dialing my phone, trying to find where Amber was parked; an old man who looked a bit like Ben Stiller's dad walked past me and said, "Hey, nice ass!" I didn't know how to respond. For one, he was somewhat right. My ass is small but well-shaped. It's grown a bit in recent years thanks to my daily workout: running from the tax man and carrying kids up and down the stairs tens of times per day. And a woman once told me I have an ass like Jada Pinkett. I guess that's a compliment. No Amaechi.

Anyhow, I just shook my head at the old, bold man. He quickly turned away, guess he realized I don't play that. Only heterosexual harassment is fine with me. Hold up...

I finally got Amber on the phone. She was parked right where Mr. Stiller was walking. I asked her to slyly take a pic of the guy. And there he is above. Sweater all tucked in and shit. If you see him, let him know my ass isn't nice. It's just alright.

-Dewan Gibson

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White Men Bring Big Guns & Irrational Fear Of Others To Protest ‘Tyranny of Islam’

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Some of Arizona's most scared, irrational, freedom-loving white men took a break from border militia duty to protest against freedom of religion in Phoenix, Arizona. No one was hurt and the anti-Islam protesters felt a bit more manly after again using weapons to intimidate predominately brown folks. From The Washington Post:

About 250 mostly armed anti-Muslim demonstrators — many wearing T-shirts bearing a profanity-laced message denouncing Islam — faced-off against a roughly equally sized crowd defending the faith in front of a Phoenix mosque Friday night.

Violence never broke out, but the clash was often heated, as demonstrators yelled and taunted one another across a line of police separating the two sides.

The event’s organizer drew a worldwide spotlight in recent days, as awareness grew on social media. Though actual attendance was far fewer, more than 1,400 people had said on a public Facebook invite that they would attend.

With the nation watching, Jon Ritzheimer, the organizer of the protest, said he wanted to see more demonstrations like his, calling it a patriotic sign of resistance against what he deemed the tyranny of Islam in America.

-Dewan Gibson

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Chicago Bulls Fire Coach Like Walmart Fires Its Employees

bulls.thibs

Thibs seems like a concealed carry kind of guy, but the Bulls executive team could have shown him a bit more respect for returning them to relevance. Still, this is the organization whose general manager once choked his coach, and not just because the coach's last name was Negro.

-Dewan Gibson

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Cops Put Antlers On Black Suspect, Pose Him Like Hunting Trophy

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Stuff like this makes me think that a lot of police forces just hire any ol' body, sort of like Walmart during the holidays. At least that's the case in Cleveland. The officer who did the drive-by shooting on 12-year-old Tamir Rice had been fired from another local department and had a recent history of emotional issues, largely due to being pussy-whipped by an ex. As for one of the officers pictured above, dude was running robbery rings. From Raw Story:

A judge ruled against Chicago police and ordered them to release a photo that shows two rifle-toting officers kneeling over a black suspect wearing deer antlers.

The Polaroid picture, believed to be taken between 1999 and 2003, was turned over to the city by federal prosecutors after Jerome Finnigan, one of the officers in the photo, was sentenced to 12 years in prison for organizing robberies and home invasions with other cops...

Finnigan told prosecutors that he and McDermott had arrested the man because he had “20 bags of weed,” but neither officer filed an arrest report for the case and they apparently let him go because he did not have a serious criminal background.

-Dewan Gibson

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Man Crossdresses To Become Best Peeping Tom He Can Be

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Hey, a giant Wendy Williams rack and SARS mask don't usually bring too much attention to oneself. By the way, I think this would be pretty much legal in California. Our public bathroom use is based on gender identification, even if you have an eggplant peaking out of your Forever 21 skirt. From Shanghaiist:

Police entered the women's bathrooms at a library in Tengzhou after receiving reports about a suspected Peeping Tom. Inside, they found the suspect, wearing red tights, a miniskirt, high-heels, thick makeup and a pair of abnormally large breasts. The person's figure, according to the officers, appeared very similar to that of a man.

Following police interrogation, the peeper admitted that he dressed up as a woman to spy in the women's bathroom, and that this wasn't his first time doing so.

-Dewan Gibson

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Cleveland Cavs Advance To (Likely) Face Them Lightskins In The Finals

cavs

"Afterparty? Come share a bath with your boy!" Man, I love my hometown. And if Cleveland wasn't in Cleveland I'd move back. All in! (from a safe distance). Anyway, Golden State is tough. Maybe Dwight Howard can do us a favor and rough up one of the Warriors' shooters before the Finals.

What more can I say!! ##JustSaying @k1irving @imanshumpertthe1st @perk_409

A video posted by JR Smith (@teamswish) on

-Dewan Gibson

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Brandon Flowers: ‘Jenny Was A Friend Of Mine’ (Live)

brandon.flowers

Man, there's a grip of cool live performances on SiriusXM's Alt Nation YouTube channel from artists I can't listen to in front of my black friends, including this oldie from The Killers. Wait, do I still have black friends?

-Dewan Gibson

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Dating Instructions From My Almost Ex Zoe Kravitz

zoe.gq

Well, evidently she doesn't date guys who send her multiple MySpace messages the month of her 18th birthday. Actually, I think she was 17 and some change. As far as I know, California state law doesn't say much about planning and early recruitment. Damn, she missed out. I wonder what Lisa Bonet's up to...

-Dewan Gibson

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