Cleveland Cavs Advance To (Likely) Face Them Lightskins In The Finals

cavs

"Afterparty? Come share a bath with your boy!" Man, I love my hometown. And if Cleveland wasn't in Cleveland I'd move back. All in! (from a safe distance). Anyway, Golden State is tough. Maybe Dwight Howard can do us a favor and rough up one of the Warriors' shooters before the Finals.

What more can I say!! ##JustSaying @k1irving @imanshumpertthe1st @perk_409

A video posted by JR Smith (@teamswish) on

-Dewan Gibson

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Brandon Flowers: ‘Jenny Was A Friend Of Mine’ (Live)

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Man, there's a grip of cool live performances on SiriusXM's Alt Nation YouTube channel from artists I can't listen to in front of my black friends, including this oldie from The Killers. Wait, do I still have black friends?

-Dewan Gibson

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Dating Instructions From My Almost Ex Zoe Kravitz

zoe.gq

Well, evidently she doesn't date guys who send her multiple MySpace messages the month of her 18th birthday. Actually, I think she was 17 and some change. As far as I know, California state law doesn't say much about planning and early recruitment. Damn, she missed out. I wonder what Lisa Bonet's up to...

-Dewan Gibson

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Helping My Second Boy To Progress From Animal Sounds To Words

cassius-reading

Ca$$ius, better known as Gopher, is showing improvement. But the speech therapist charges a damn $30 co-pay, so if he doesn't get it together soon we'll be forced to the always free Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good.

-Dewan Gibson

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Congressman Grayson On Bigamist Ex-Wife: ‘Gold Diggers Gotta Dig’

grayson

Good explanation, but Grayson should have added an "I'm sayin', though." The congressman and his wife were together for 25 years and five kids, despite she being married to another man the entire time. And now she wants his millions. This is why you don't get married unless you're po' or have the ability to move assets ("assesses" as my friend's dad calls them) overseas. Let my wife try something, she'll get half a ghetto condo in Phoenix and about 50 old issues of GQ magazine.

-Dewan Gibson

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Tonya Harding Lookalike Caught Poisoning Roommates’ Food With Windex

hayleyking

A 22-year-old southern belle and University of South Carolina student was caught on hidden camera spitting in and spraying Windex on her roommates' food. Now she's facing up to 20 years in prison or, at best, a future reviving the Girls Gone Wild series. Hopefully all young, blonde, white women step up to condemn her actions. From The Washington Post:

Police say the footage — taken in February — shows the 22-year-old student opening the apartment’s refrigerator and spitting in several containers of her roommates’ food. She can also be seen spraying and pouring Windex in the food; the household cleaner can become deadly when ingested.

The footage, which has been uploaded to YouTube, appears to show King methodically contaminating the food. After opening containers, she appears to cock her head and spit multiple times into the food before carefully mixing the contents.

She returns to the refrigerator moments later with a bottle of Windex in her hand and begins spraying it onto the food. She repeats the process several more times and pours some of the cleaning solution into the food containers before reapplying the lids and placing them back in the fridge.

-Dewan Gibson

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