Florida Man (Of Course) Gets 30 Months In Jail For Having Sex On Beach

Jose Caballero

Man, that's a lot of time for a little nookie. From reading a couple of articles on the case, the factoring decisions were the defendant's history of dealing blow and the fact that a child saw them going at it, which could possibly cause the child to act out what he or she saw. Plus it's strongly against our country's tradition of exposing our children to extreme violence instead of sex. From The Guardian:

A man convicted of having sex on a public beach in Florida in front of a child was sentenced on Monday to two and a half years in prison, a state prosecutor said.

Jose Caballero, 40, was arrested in Bradenton Beach in west-central Florida last July after other beachgoers complained that he was fondling and starting to have sexual intercourse with a woman on the beach in the middle of the afternoon.

A four-year-old child saw the activity, which was videotaped by a witness, a police report said. When her mother asked him to stop, Caballero responded confrontationally, which factored into the sentence requested, said assistant state attorney Anthony Dafonseca.

“His judgment was pretty poor,” Dafonseca said. Caballero, who previously served about eight years in prison for cocaine trafficking, faced as much as 15 years in prison.

-Dewan Gibson

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For The Price Of A Condom, You Can Help A Needy Single Mother Of 10

single.mother

If it truly takes a village to raise your child, you must have a bad ass kid, let alone 10 of 'em. Look--raising kids is tough, it's almost as difficult as exiting that warmth when you start to feel tingly. But that's something most of us learn after the first child, or at least the third (like me), not the tenth! Still, it's not the kids fault and I hope they get the help that the parentsssss (extra "s'es" for the potential number of fathers) and welfare can't provide, though I'm not sure about the need for toys and "the finer things they desire." Kids play with anything, she could really just let them fool around in her empty cabinets and build paper mache figures from ramen noodle packages. I'll stop...anyway, click here if you want to give a few dollars.

single.mother2

-Dewan Gibson

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Take A Moment To Reflect While Doing Your Silly Hair

damnhipster

There are so many hipsters wearing this side part and not giving Frederick Douglass any credit...black hair matters, too.

Update: A member of the Confederate side of my family has mentioned that the hipster style is different, in that it is shaven into the hair, as opposed to the antebellum combed part. True. However, it should also be noted that The Man generally did not allow black folks to use razors, for free they'd go Nat Turner on that ass.

-Dewan Gibson

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Genius Keeps ‘Dogs’ For Two Years, Suddenly Realizes They’re Bears

chinabear

The bear actually does look a bit like a chow chow, except I'm assuming he didn't bark and could ride a tricycle. From Shanghaiist:

A man in Yunnan recently discovered that he'd been raising two Asian black bears for the past two years under the impression that they were dogs...The man, Wang Kaiyu, owns a banana farm in Jinchang Town, near the boarder of Vietnam, China News reports. Two years ago, a Vietnamese man was passing by the area with two "good looking" pups, and Wang decided to buy them off the man, he told reporters.

For two years, he lovingly raised the "dogs", bathing and pampering them every day. Wang said the animals were well-behaved but that their appetites were rapidly growing. He recalled a few times when his beloved pets caught and ate chickens on the farm.

As fate would have it, Wang saw a poster about wildlife protection at an exhibition hosted by the forest police, and the bells started ringing. Wang realised he had been accidentally raising two protected species.

-Dewan Gibson

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Brewery Severs Ties With Trump, Creates ‘Fuck Your Hair’ Beer

5rabbit

I imagine Trump's not a fan of this beer. He might say it's very, very disrespectful and disgusting as Barney Frank's protruding nipples. From TPM:

A brewery outside of Chicago cut ties with Donald Trump and renamed one of its beers following the reality-TV star and Republican presidential candidate's remarks calling Mexican immigrants "rapists" and drug dealers.

Andres Araya, the Latino co-owner of the 5 Rabbit Cerveceria brewery told Chicago radio station WBEZ that he would stop making beer for Trump Tower's Rebar.

"We would be doing an injustice to the community we serve (and live in) by engaging in business with someone who does not accept our role in society and expresses a rhetoric of hate and ignorance towards us," Araya said in a statement to WBEZ...

The brewery still has some leftover beer from the collaboration with Rebar, however. So 5 Rabbit Cerveceria has renamed its summer golden ale "Chinga Tu Pelo," which translates to "Fuck Your Hair" in English, according to the Chicago Sun Times.

trump1

-Dewan Gibson

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Nascar To Allow Fans To Exchange Confederate Flag For One Slightly Less Racist!

nascar.confederate

This is a step in the right direction, but if Nascar really wanted to attract a more diverse audience they should have jumped on the spinners craze a few years back. From ESPN:

Daytona International Speedway will implement a voluntary flag exchange program this weekend for any fans flying a Confederate flag during the track's traditional Independence Day race weekend.

DIS President Joie Chitwood said Tuesday that because fans had purchased tickets and the event is so close to happening, he would not change the flag policy for this weekend. He said the track will offer United States flags in exchange for Confederate flags...

NASCAR chairman Brian France said last week that he would work with the tracks -- Daytona, like many tracks, is owned by the France family-controlled International Speedway Corp. -- to see what they can do to eliminate the flag from the infield. NASCAR already bans the flag from any official areas of the tracks -- race cars, programs, signage, etc., and in 2012 nixed plans for golfer Bubba Watson to drive his General Lee car from the "The Dukes of Hazzard" during a prerace event because of the Confederate flag on its roof.

-Dewan Gibson

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Oxford Won’t Let Black People Have Nothin': Adds ‘Twerk’ To Its Dictionary, Claims Word Originated In 1820

twerk.ist

Cool! Now once we identify the first woman to twerk we can put her on the ten dollar bill. From The Japan Times:

The word “twerk” dates back to as early as 1820, the Oxford English Dictionary said Thursday as it announced twerking as one of 500 new entries this year.

The word rocketed into popular use following U.S. singer Miley Cyrus’s controversial gyrating at a music awards performance in 2013.

However, research by the OED — which styles itself as the definitive record of the English language — found “twirk” was first used as a noun in 1820, referring to a “twisting or jerking movement.

The verb is believed to have emerged later in 1848, with the “twerk” spelling popularly used by 1901.

(Note: The picture above was taken right when it was getting tingly.)

-Dewan Gibson

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DMX Arrested Just For Owing $400,000 In Child Support

dmx

In 1999, DMX and Sugar Sisqo asked the world "What they want from a ni**a?" Years later we have found the answer: at least $400,000 for the 12 kids they gave you, Earl! By the way, thanks a lot for nothing, Dr. Phil and Iyanla. From The Guardian:

The rapper DMX was arrested on Friday for failure to pay child support – just as he was about to perform at Radio City Music Hall.

A spokesman for the New York City sheriff’s department told WPIX-TV the 44-year-old rapper was taken into custody for several “issues outstanding”.

He said those issues included $400,000 worth of unpaid child support, a warrant issued by the city of White Plains for bail jumping and a robbery complaint out of Newark, New Jersey. No charges have been filed in the Newark case.

-Dewan Gibson

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Kill Nine Black People, Get Free Burger King

Fast food, killing black folks, special treatment from police--there's something inherently American about all of this. From TPM:

Police in Shelby, North Carolina bought a Burger King meal for the white man who allegedly killed nine people at a historic black church in Charleston, South Carolina after they arrested him Thursday, The Charlotte Observer reported.

Shelby Police Chief Jeff Ledford told the newspaper that the only conversation his officers had with 21-year-old Dylann Roof was about food. The alleged gunman told them that he was hungry after eating nothing but some chips he'd bought at a Charlotte gas station before he was arrested in a traffic stop...

“He did have something to eat while he was there, and he was secured in cuffs the entire time,” he told the news site.

-Dewan Gibson

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